Ode To My Lost Childhood Poem by Claire Sanders

There were days, I recall, where I wished myself away,

Sat upon the stairs, aware of the shouts,

Go to bury my head under my pillow,

The rowing is about me, no doubts,

I would think of sweet things, cuddle my doll,

Yet still the tears would sting me,

As down my cheeks they roll,

The shouting was down to me, my fault,

As I wasn't really wanted, that's how it felt.

 

There were days that my whole body ached out of pity,

Whispers heard from behind part closed door,

There was no-one I could to talk to about them,

And I felt nobody cared anymore,

So I never could breathe a word,

Just thought it would be better if I was gone,

I sobbed for a friend, a listening ear,

One time I thought I had found that,

But learned quick they didn't care.

 

There were days when my heart broke again and again,

Over and over, shredded, by hurt, by ignorance,

Strong as my will was, I felt abandoned, lonely,

All I wanted, a friend, just to hear my cries for help,

But it never came, ne'er mind, cos despite it all,

The hardship fears and tears, the torment of bullies,

I'm not the bitter kind,

My head high as I walked on,

But never shook the feeling that I simply didn't belong.

 

There were days when the strangled light fought,

Entangled in my web of darkness,

A little beam of purity and hope implored me a little,

A glimpse of a guardian angel from dreams past,

Lifting me on the days I truly faltered,

There to keep me alive, kicking and steadfast,

My days are now more settled, I am thankful,

And without them, who knows?  I may have lost,

Alas this battle remains in my memories, an ode to 'Me'.