Off With All Their Heads Poem by gershon hepner

“Off with her head! ” the Red Queen said.
She couldn’t tell, within the pack,
who all the gardeners were. Each head
remained where it had been, no lack
of body, because “Nonsense! ” Alice––
surprised, courageous and most loud––
declared, without a touch of malice,
a mere young child within a crowd.

“Get up! ” the Queen said, maybe thinking
tat it was time to say amidah.
They didn’t, and instead of shrinking
heads, this negative stockbreeder
said: “Off with all their heads! ” “You shan’t
do this, ” said Alice––and she put
them in a flowerpot. We can’t
behave like her, but, oh, we should!

Inspired by an excerpt from Chapter 8 from Lewis Carrol’s “Alice in Wonderland, ” following a suggestion that I had made to use the word “decimation” denote counting members of a minyan, which made a certain President of my shul adopting a Red Queenly attitude, and suggesting, probably in jest, that execution of every tenth person in shul who talks might be a great way of improving decorum.

`And who are these? ' said the Queen, pointing to the three gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see, as they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her own children.
`How should I know? ' said Alice, surprised at her own courage. `It's no business of mine.'
The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her for a moment like a wild beast, screamed `Off with her head! Off-'
`Nonsense! ' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the Queen was silent.
The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said `Consider, my dear: she is only a child! '
The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave `Turn them over! '
The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.
`Get up! ' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.
`Leave off that! ' screamed the Queen. `You make me giddy.' And then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, `What have you been doing here? '
`May it please your Majesty, ' said Two, in a very humble tone, going down on one knee as he spoke, `we were trying-'
`I see! ' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. `Off with their heads! ' and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.
`You shan't be beheaded! ' said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others.
`Are their heads off? ' shouted the Queen.
`Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty! ' the soldiers shouted in reply.
`That's right! ' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet? '
The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question was evidently meant for her.
`Yes! ' shouted Alice.

10/6/09