Oil War! - Alison Redfern Vs Chrissie Clarkson Poem by Kevin Patrick

Chrissie Clarkson complained for the shares of the pie
Enbridge had patented what Miss Redfern had sealed
On a pledge of allegiance for a pipeline next year
Carrying the cream of the crud of reprehensible slime

There was a bipartisan difference and state of disproval
Poor Alison was chagrined with her fellow premier
Who refused to concede for more provincial revenue
When jurisdiction of the proceeds transversed through Vancouver

They met on a schooner for a provincial congregation
But neither was willing to come close and deliver
Preferring deference till three months to October
Debating rhetorical trademarks, instead ecological spilling

"It's our, it's ours" Pouted greedy nose Alison
She put her hands on her hips and said on a dare
"I'm an Albertan and we don't have to share
Oils our commodity, so you can suck it Mrs Clarkson"

To which reasoned Chrissie a cold declaration
"If your pipeline crosses the crags of the Rockies
I'll expect compensation sharing your royalties
Or I'll delineate matters for federal representation"

The two women were deadlocked all day and night
Until they agreed, on a reasoned arrangement
A bikini mud wrestles in oiled excrement
Patented from the proceeds of revenue rights

Both fought, long and hard, in the well oiled arena
Delivering strikes which were slightly Sapphic
Unfortunately both lost as their lungs grew atrophic
And they drowned in their winnings in Deep water Horizon