On Leaving For War Again After A Short Stay At Home Poem by David Abrahams

It was –
the last hurried kiss,
the taste of tears on your lips,
that steeled my resolve.

You rushed away
Not caring of the mechanics of air travel –
Nor to watch your heart breaking
As the (not so) tenders pushed away the jet.

I find no fault in this need
To keep moving.
To put one foot ahead of its match:
Again, again, again
Until the hard edges of my face
And soft heat of my hands
Only shimmer in your mind at the end
Of a long day.

Until then the tears will come,
And often:
- the first time each shared task done solo
- a wisp of scent on my pillow
- the last load of laundry with my clothes – and –
- the first without
- the tilt of our young man’s head and smirk that marks him
as my son.

He is old enough to know that
There is turbulence ahead –
But death and pain to him
are player one game over,
And a skinned knee from a sidewalk spill.

His potential to suffer is greater than us both
From this – his innocence -
And falls on you again, again, again –
And so the tears you cry for him as well –
Are doubly salty, bitter, painful tears.

For my part I see what lies ahead.
I march with purpose to the fight.
I will not walk amongst the dead –
Nor fear the waning of the light.

I will once again be strong
For country –
Name –
And men.

And can do this only because you:
By shedding tears of pain, and love, and hope –
By keeping up your chin through long days of mystery –
And taking father time on with equal resolution to mine–
By marching out beyond the concourse
To lonely days of work, and bills, and double parenthood -

Wait.

Until I touch down.
Until I’m in your arms again, again, again.

DSA
04 Jan 2010