Noel Marsh

Rookie (4/6/74 / Tucson, AZ)

On My Wedding and Living


I remember
How sweet it was
To hear of love
And of life
As something more than an old Toyota ad slogan
To know that it was never to be something to throw away
To hold back tears as I saw you
Moments from
Probably
Wanting to run the other way
But walking towards me and life
And I think of love
And how mine grew that day
From where I was years ago
Not much to anyone but myself
Lost in confusion of selfish hype
In love
Then
But not really
I was a face in a city
Accurately
A suburb
Letting go of most of what should have mattered
And quickly coming undone
Drinking
And writing
And living
And bouncing from here to there and
Somehow
Back again
I have a friend
In the throes of living in his 20’s
Searching for meaning of his own
And he likes to ask questions
Do I regret not having now what I had then
As though life could really be about what it was then
Long nights with a guitar and a bottle
Or long mornings
Hung over or drunk with pen and paper
Going nowhere but in circles
Like my dog chasing his tail or butterflies floating by
Its hard to think about the man that I was
And I know
That I like me better now
Better than I was then or when I was in my teens
I cant imagine that life then being my life now
To pass up on the growing pains and emotional trials of a step-son
Or the birth of my daughter
And how beautiful she was on the day that life became real for her
And for me
Or how her mom was that beautiful on the October evening we
committed to forever
And I remember
How my love grew
And I feel
How my love continues to grow.

Submitted: Monday, May 29, 2006

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