Only In My Dreams Poem by Hannah Diane Williams

A neverending dream
Of happiness and bliss
Is all I can manage
Because life is a nightmare,
Full of darkened skies...
There is no light
Or has the light just deserted me?
You promised You'd never leave me,
So why do I feel like this...?
I scream so loud,
But no one hears me.
I'm so afraid to wake up
Because I can't see.
The pain inside
Has overpowered me once again.
A sharp edge contains the release I need.
I can't find this release anywhere else.
I have to do this
Or I'll explode.
No one sees the consequences of my fatal mistake.
But it's a painful secret I hide from the world.
If anyone found out,
They'd think I was a freak.
But if I keep it inside,
It's not going to stop.
I confess before God,
The Healer of all wounds,
This horrible sin.
I ask Him to forgive me.
He pushes me to confess this horrific deed
Before someone else.
I try to fight it,
But He knows I can't quit on my own.
I can't quite explain it...
There's nothing like this freedom He's given me.
He has made my broken heart beautiful.