Over The Years Poem by Mehta Hasmukh Amathaal
Over The Years
Over the years I learnt
How to bow or bend
Respect to others when needed
The important point was conceded
I was arrogant and irresponsible
Always used to land others in trouble
By making their life miserable
Never allowing them comfortable
As jealous boy, I caused so much harm
Small birds and children for twisting wings and arms
It was giving me joy when they cried with pain
I do not know what was aim?
There after I have changed
Hopefully it is nicely managed
Past is totally forgotten
No traces are left even
I love making friends
I enjoy their trend
With trace of some happiness
I love such change in each case
Jealousy has been pushed away
By many miles and never allowed in way
I wish good for all those who are around
Such ideas always floats and seems sound
Re: Over the years (Score: 1) Grammar and Flow Robynn Mussell50 minutes ago Your poem, though wonderful in itself, is marred by the lack of punctuation and simple articles like a and the. There is also discontinuity with the 'beat' of the lines in each stanza. Without a way to make the syllables match, or are off by one or two (either more or less) , your poem seems to came apart and feel 'almost' broken. Take a look at some of Shakespeare's sonnets for an example of what I am explaining. Your rhyming is different, but it works here very well. Comment 1 Comment0 Hasmukh Mehta Less than a minute ago it is rarity in itself. you take amy stanza away.no where you will find such combination, you enjoy the theme and closeness.it speaks of volumes in regard to experience, it has flow of river and rhythms like melody
Re: Over the years (Score: 1) by jadia4708au on Saturday, October 12,2013 (20: 56: 03) Grammar and Flow Robynn Mussell50 minutes ago Your poem, though wonderful in itself, is marred by the lack of punctuation and simple articles like a and the. There is also discontinuity with the 'beat' of the lines in each stanza. Without a way to make the syllables match, or are off by one or two (either more or less) , your poem seems to came apart and feel 'almost' broken. Take a look at some of Shakespeare's sonnets for an example of what I am explaining. Your rhyming is different, but it works here very well. Comment 1 Comment0 Hasmukh Mehta Less than a minute ago it is rarity in itself. you take amy stanza away.no where you will find such combination, you enjoy the theme and closeness.it speaks of volumes in regard to experience, it has flow of river and rhythms like melody
Grammar and Flow Robynn Mussell50 minutes ago Your poem, though wonderful in itself, is marred by the lack of punctuation and simple articles like a and the. There is also discontinuity with the 'beat' of the lines in each stanza. Without a way to make the syllables match, or are off by one or two (either more or less) , your poem seems to came apart and feel 'almost' broken. Take a look at some of Shakespeare's sonnets for an example of what I am explaining. Your rhyming is different, but it works here very well. Comment 1 Comment0 Hasmukh MehtaLess than a minute ago it is rarity in itself. you take amy stanza away.no wehre you will find such combination, you enjoy the theme and clsoeness.it speaks of volumes in regard to experience, it has flow of river and rhythms like melody
transformation Donka Krsteva48 minutes ago good; needs a little work (ex. last line) Comment 1 Comment0 Hasmukh MehtaLess than a minute ago wishing happiness for all tho who are around... as jealousy pushed away
Representative and true Tristan Miller4 minutes ago This is honestly how most boys walk the earth. Comment +1 ok
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/24/2024 8:53:21 AM # 1.0.0.1119
Over the years I learnt How to bow or bend