Painting Project Poem by Jim Yerman

I’ve seen those shows on HGTV where they make over a house in a day
They wear expensive clothes, finish in an hour, don’t get dirty and still have time to play.

So with that picture in our minds we woke up early whistling a happy tune
We decided to paint our living room and figured we’d be done by noon.

We started at 7: 30 in the morning and it didn’t take us long to see
That painting is done much faster by those people on HGTV.

What slowed us up I wondered? Then the answer began to unfold.
It seems the two people painting our room had gotten a little old.

I’m not sure if all that bending and squatting was doing us any harm
But I haven’t heard that much grunting and groaning since we visited pigs down on the farm.

In truth we were working fairly quickly, we’re not that old after all
But it wasn’t until after noon that we started to roll out one wall.

By 12: 30 we were looking so good that I was about to gloat
Until Deborah assessed the situation and said, “It’s going to need one more coat.”

It gave us a chance to take some Tylenol, eat some lunch and wonder why
Those people on HGTV never wait for their paint to dry.

“It must be magic paint, ” Deborah surmised, “that dries immediately.”
I was starting to think they lied to us, those folks over at HGTV.

The second coat went on easily and it’s a good thing I had on old clothes
Because I had paint on my hands, on my arms, in my hair and a few drops fell on my nose.

It was 2: 00 when the second coat dried, and I looked at my watch with restraint
As Deborah began taping off the baseboards that were waiting for their coat of paint.

At 5: 30 Deborah’s was still finishing the project we thought would be done by noon
We were tired, we were hungry, we still hadn’t showered- it was like something out of a cartoon.

“It does look great.” I said when we finished and Deborah had to agree.
‘But I wonder, ” I asked as I picked up the brushes- Who does the clean up on HGTV?

So the next time Deborah’s watching HGTV I’ll remind her to remember when
It took us 10 hours to paint one tiny room and I’ll switch it to ESPN.