Jan Hauck

Rookie (June 1,1978)

Paradiso Perduto

Loss and gain, fear and pain, trivial pursuit,
Yet so important I would die,
And die again and again, no gain,
The pain pursuing happiness and loss,
Shadows in green and brown, a paradise,
The bliss of being an island unto myself,
Yet signalling imaginary ships every day.

All the while creating a paradise of the mind,
Ever so slowly pursuing it and losing it,
Island or ship, floating or sinking,
Indigenous sailor, a Flying Dutchman damned
To keep sailing, to know and expect the end,
But no choice, paradise calling like sirens,
No way to escape the endless travel home.

Pursuing what I created, what I desire,
What the world cannot give because it is not,
Sailing, running, crawling to what must be out there,
I look to the outside to find what is in me,
And I must fail, turning inward, broken and sore,
Looking into the soul, into the heart,
Away from wishes, paradise regained.

Submitted: Monday, April 29, 2013
Edited: Friday, September 20, 2013
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