Chuck Toll


PH: Hello, PoemHunter Staff, Anyone Home? ? ?


I really want to know whether you exist or not!
Your site has several “Contact Us” links, and
Emails to you produce an “Auto-Thank You”
But our messages then get lost in cyberspace
Or yield “Failed Delivery” notices by the slew.

In “Chariot of the Gods” Erich von Danekin
Postulated aliens who briefly visited Earth,
Prompting pyramids from Mexico to Timbuktu,
But then abandoned us to our own devices.
Can Poemhunter.com be on autopilot too?

In “The Great Gatsby, ” Scott Fitzgerald wrote
Symbolically about the eyes of Dr. T. J. Eckelburg
Brooding on a sign over a vast Valley of Ashes
Long after he himself had departed in disgust
With his befouled creation. Are you mad at us?

Janice Joplin sang hopefully that she would wait
At home each day just at three for the folks from
Dialing for Dollars. So, too, with this humble poem
I await your return to your loyal PoemHunter fans.
We need your help, guys, so please don't roam!

To anyone else who happens to read this plea,
Be aware that someone called “Sandrine Nzi”
Has begun to send us bogus business scams
She must assume that we're a bunch of jerks;
But what the heck, the site is free and works!


Footnote:
Since joining three months ago, I've never been able to reach
whoever manages the site using 'Contact Us.' If any of you
have e-chatted with Poemhunter staff, or received a response
to a query in recent months, please let me know your secret!
The final stanza, by the way, is also true, and you can confirm
Sandrine Nzi's scams on the Internet (if you want to bother) .

Submitted: Sunday, October 21, 2007
Edited: Monday, April 18, 2011

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Comments about this poem (PH: Hello, PoemHunter Staff, Anyone Home? ? ? by Chuck Toll )

  • Rookie Robert E Hann (11/8/2007 11:42:00 AM)

    I have too many issues with this site to name....
    But then it IS free so how can I complain?
    I'd love to write PH a nasty letter
    but I can find no place that I like better. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie bob eichen (10/21/2007 10:14:00 AM)

    Chuck, No luck here when trying to contact Poemhunter.com. Also, Sandrine LeSkunkStool tried to scam me too. D. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Firoze Shakir Bollywoods Most Wanted Poet Of India (10/21/2007 9:44:00 AM)

    Dear Chuck Toll
    Forgive me
    I am the Black Sheep
    of poemhunter
    perhaps you may not recall
    poemhunter staff are always busy
    they wont hear your call
    the Ads keep them happy
    the money rolls in
    they dont neeed to play ball
    you me are just poets
    dehumanised
    desensitized brick in the wall
    some dwarved by humility
    some racists walking tall
    some are toddlers just learning
    to crawl
    some old farts
    pretentious poets they love
    to malign and maul
    some love to get into a brawl
    some who sweep in
    as hate comments of a squall
    you say you are 3 months old
    you wont be getting any more older
    just take life as it comes bugger all
    visit the poem hunter forum
    more exciting than climbing
    mount everest in nepal
    here all masked men
    women eunuchs hijdas
    transgenders
    poetically speaking
    a masquerade ball
    you will also find
    a Mogadishu Mullah
    Abdullah Diriye
    speaking about Islam
    with his head covered in a prayer shawl
    allen james saywell and david hazell
    and the missing rugby ball..

    Thank you for inspiring this poem
    Wish you well
    Firoze Shakir (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Tara very irritated with PH injustice (10/21/2007 9:10:00 AM)

    One erudite piece of chastisement.... got me laughing too... the answer is that they do exist but have a tendency to respond only when the query/comment would have legal implications, it seems. No such thing as common courtesey here as you know! t x (Report) Reply

Read all 4 comments »

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