Popcorn Breakdown Poem by Joshua Mccoy

With Knees shaking, I fall into an illusion of false security where nothing is alive
All is artificial.
The steady breathing around me is replaced by the grinding and shifting of creaky sprockets and clanking gears.
Looking left, then right, blank soulless eyes stare outward at the same screen, transferring visual data only to micro chips.
Sparks fly into the air from a crying child and him and his mother are quickly neutralized outside.
Darkness envelops all yet again and I am thrusted into blinding bright, popcorn scented light.
All is not well.
I walk out into the scene of a couple locked with passionate lips

A giant wave of deep isolation sweeps me far away, forcing tears to swell
Bringing the sharp sting of loneliness to radically surge through every cell in my body
And I desperately plead to dropp to my knees for closure and security
But none would care.
I am all alone in a state where no one knows my name or cares for my existence
I am a foreign stranger upon land where my voice is but a tiny squeak among the mighty roar of an
over-crowded stadium double the size of New York.
These red and white lights that illuminate from thousands of cars in a row contains souls who will never know me
The warmth of someone else wanting to be held and loved will never reach my cold tender hands
The comfort of knowing someone is watching over me and cradling me in their heart like a newborn babe will never be able to console me when I need it most
Because
I feel reformatted to carry out the life of one destined to be unloved

I feel like there is no need for someone to care about my existence so why should they

I feel like I have been sentenced to a life of suffering in silence for a crime that was never committed

I feel like my voice and feelings are like the gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe
Used until all value runs out then stepped upon by countless others

Am I wrong to seek love from another?

Maybe the shadows of false smiles can conceal my hurting
But my heart is slowly starting to beat out of sync with hope.