Professor Rumpel Schtinkel Poem by Catherine Casey

Professor Rumpel Schtinkel

Holds a P.H.D in gas.

Writes lengthy dissertations

Up a ladder with a glass.



‘Oriel’s the place to be

For light appreciation.

Seldom are results below

Pure bio – mass stagnation’.



When working in close quarters

Avoid taking vacuum flask.

The stench is so disgusting

That you’ll drop it without mask.



His armpits - prime examples

To students who scratch their head,

That everyone’s a hummer.

Use more soap not garlic bread.



His storage tanks are copper.

Full pressure. ‘Double the bar! ’

Humbug, peas and eggy cress

Fermenting – powers his car.



Releasing palladium

From so opulent a mash.

‘Such scaled up quantum blastings

Might perpetrate hard cash’.



Experimental sniffings

Could fuse your toes together.

Implications run amuck

Regarding changing weather.



While toasted in Punjabi

For noxious fumes like curry.

His wanted posters linger

From mushroom clouds in Surrey.



If passing by you wander

What strange stench ruined your day

Professor Rumpel Schtinkel

Has most likely passed your way.