Rage Against The Machine Poem by Amber Hardisty

Fat tears will roll down your face
And you won't speak
But it won't be like in the movies
When even if you cry
You will be perfect,
Beautiful
No.
It won't be anything like this
It won't be beautiful
Or liberating
All you will feel is disgust,
And hate,
And it will all be towards your ownself.
And you will inwardly scream
Fists pounding,
But you won't cry out
The best you can do is whisper
Because you're not strong enough
To show anyone.
And even though you'll try
You're too cowardly to end it all right there
Even though you tell yourself
It will be so much better,
You can't.
But you will sob and scream inwardly,
Because you're too weak to do anything but cry
After all,
You are that person
You know the one
Who pretends not to care what others think,
But on the inside,
You're the one who cares the most.
And as you're begging,
For someone to come and tell you it's alright,
But no one will,
Because this mask of happiness
That you have cultivated
Is too strong
Too powerful
And you don't know how to take it off.
Because even though you pray,
And you cry,
Hoping desperately,
For someone to break down the walls
You have built around you
No one will
Because they never knew
That they were there
In the first place.
And as you recite this
Like a theme to your life
Sitting on the floor
And thinking of the look of disgust
Painted across their faces
You will hope
That someday they will read this,
And realize the mistakes
Perhaps after your death,
Once you finally build up the nerve
To commence with it.