Realize that this is temporary
Funny. maybe if i actually cared,
i’d be sad.
where’s the humor in that?
what’s wrong with me?
i’m on the verge of apathy
because i’ve overloaded on emotion again.
i feel wasted; i feel spent.
i don’t know how i feel.
maybe if i invented a new word,
you could understand.
with a new definition comes
a new brand of sadness.
you dug me as a hole and poured yourself into me
until i could hold no more of anything;
then left me out in the texas heat.
i think you were hoping for the sun
to sip your sorrow away, but i did that
the other night with my fifth drink.
i’m ready for you to fill me up.
fill up again, please?
i miss feeling everything.
the happiness is great,
though i can’t complain
about the dark and blurred feelings
how is sadness so addicting?
i crave it more than the joy you bring.
i could hurt you if i tried.
i have a script in my head of things i
want to say,
couldn’t say to you.
i want a lot, you ask for more.
i stay quiet, you get angry.
i don’t get mad anymore.
things are going back to “Before.”
step by step, we’re tracing the circumference
of our story. close to 360,
i wonder if we’ll go back to old conversations we never had
but should have.
maybe i’ll be sane again and
you’ll think i’m a good idea again.
funny how thing are wanted but not granted.
you can’t have anything
Sammi Ama's Other Poems
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