Really Gone... Poem by victoria martinez

I’m not sure why I thought I wouldn’t miss him
I keep having dreams where he tells me he loves me
But, then I wake up and my room is dark
I don’t think my heart has ever hurt this bad
I was on the phone and I apologized to him
But, it was a real apology
I came so close to crying
Aren’t you proud of me?
Cause I didn’t cry… I drank
I swear I never thought I would use that stuff to ease my pain
And here I am… it’s like I’m 14 again
It’s like I have no control
Last night we were outside the world was spinning
I fell
Why weren’t you there to catch me?