Recognitions Poem by Laura arwen

I feel confused
for my future
because I have
conflicting desires
I want to
stay alive in
my world
I want to
have trust from
people
I'm too obsessed
with order
I think it's
better to have
an imaginary friend
for my loneliness
I don't recognize
the symptoms of
weakness
I need to
relax my mind
I don't recognize
anymore the power
of my imagination
I don't recognize
the mental tiredness
I lose the
ability to relax
I'm unhappy to
not have my
own home because
it is my
biggest dream
I want the
control all around
me
I dream to
have a regular
and intense life
I don't possess
the natural elegance
and refinement of
women
I want to
be perfectly organized
For me it's
really important to
stay in the
shadow
In the coldness
nothing hurts