Relatively Slow Poem by Sharon Jane Lansbury

Grandmama Mamillipede
Really isn’t up to speed,
And though we think she’s really great,
Our Grandmama is always late.

She came to stay with us one year
Such fun we have with Grandma dear!
And there with tickets for the train
(we thought we’d let it take the strain)

the two-fifteen from Leafy Junction
stirs in Grandma no compunction
however long the notice given,
unless escorted, chauffeur-driven
Grandmama Mamillipede
In catching trains will not succeed –

For thinking she’s an hour to spare
She takes her time in getting there.
Before our Grandmama has started,
the train on Platform Three’s departed!

There’s nothing really to be done,
Our father, as her only son,
has found a method to suit us all;
Upon receipt of Grandma’s call

We add an hour to stated time
And let the hall clock gently chime,
(the secret of our own survival
with the imminent arrival
Of Grandmama Mamillipede
who never seems to think of speed) .

But there’s one thing to make her quick!
We have to play an artful trick:
When Grandma Milli comes to stay
we sit her in the window bay:

Across the lounge room floor at night
Giving EVERYONE a fright
The biggest, hairiest spider hurtles
And Grandma jumps Olympic hurdles!