Remote-Control Man Poem by Lindsey Priest

Remote-Control Man



What is it with men and the remote control
Why can't he leave it alone?
He is switching from channel to channel,
Like a human metronome.
I've had to take it off him,
You should see the look on his face,
He's pouring himself a whisky
And stomping around the place.
Now he's flicking through a brochure
And heaving pointed sighs,
If the T.V. is back on in seconds
It will come as no surprise!
He must get it from his father,
Who is a nightmare, it has to be said!
He has to switch off all the adverts.
To ‘zap’ them until they are dead.
No-one else is allowed to touch it,
The property is entirely his,
And through all available channels,
He will quickly whizz.
So take it away for a fortnight
Or even just for a week,
Give women control of the ‘zapper’
‘Be quiet now, please do not speak!
I’m searching through every station
A good programme to watch I must find
I’ll just flick through until I find one
I’m sure no-one will really mind! ’

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Lindsey Priest

Lindsey Priest

Huddersfield England
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