Ristorante Poem by Tom Courtney

Ristorante



Ristorante (the Evening Out)

I want to see the skyline
all lit up and twinkling in the night
sit on the patio of Ristorante
where the little round tables are clustered
up on a tiered deck with ficus sycomorus
in tapered redwood planters
and Chinese lanterns sway in
the gentle breeze
and there'll be a menu of overpriced entrees
greasy hors-de-oeuvres and flambéed salads
The service will be lousy
and I’ll have a hard time getting water.
but it will come
in a well-worn glass
with a lemon slice
and I’ll wonder how they can serve a meal
on this veranda facing the bustling city

I’ll gaze blankly at the wine list
hardly recognizing anything listed there
not really knowing the chardonnay
from the Chablis
or the BV from the Wente Bros
but I know the red and white, the pink
and how to order the house wine
by the half bottle or the liter
I’ll taste the wine in its fullness
swish it around in my mouth
and get a good taste and remember
you really can taste the wine

In the winter they'll hang the overhead heaters
and they'll never close for the rains
because this is L.A. and it never rains anyway
they built the downtown to bring the people out I’ll be one
but I need Mary or Judy or Terry or Debby
or Mark, Ray, John
to chatter away with about the facts of modern existence
The ambience will be perfect
We'll have a perfect evening
though the food was cold and I got gas
and spent the rest of the evening
with cramps in my abdomen
wishing I had just gotten enough to eat

Wondering after all this time why
the ambience of elegance
in this charming, quaint and sophisticated
overpriced little side walk Ristorante
has never rubbed off on me
never made me the carefree stylish bon-vivant
like an the others who frequent
these places into the wee hours of the morning
working hard to keep a little circle
of friends together amidst the disintegration
of social life in the big metropolitan cosmopolitan

Why is it then after all these days
now when I can see it all as a game
that the image of myself as a part of it has faded?
somehow I can't absorb this ambiance
Somehow I just don't need the service
as the waiter wheels the desert cart around
the crinkles, puffs and squiggles
Somehow I don't really need the coffee after dinner
I’ll be going to sleep in the not too distant future

What can I take of this $85 dollar go-around
with the shadow of myself I must be chasing?
In the final measure I’m much more comfortable
in my home
where I can come and go as I please
and I can help myself to the water
and I don't have to be referred to as sir
I don't have to pretend to be living it up
These things run through my mind and yet

That night we had a marvelous time
Somehow that particular night
was special
She laughed at my silly jokes
He reached across the table
touched my arm and called me best friend
The warmth of friends made the table glow
My sister in law was overdue
for a little of my tenderness
after all the long silences she withstood from me
He said a lot of the same old things
I could have predicted
I said some of the most meaningless things
I’ve ever said
She wore an unappealing hairdo
and I was never sure
if I was parked legally
We spoke of mundane things
referencing the prices of show tickets
mouthing platitudes
that we had heard the critics say
And none of us, I am quite sure
could recognize really good acting
if we saw it
We fell back onto the safe ground
of what appealed to me or you
because that is where
art and entertainment meet

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