Rules For A Marriage Poem by Max Reif

Look, I'm quite happy
As an introverted, sloppy,
Creative, easygoing, poor,
Overweight, insecure misfit!

I don't need your anal,
Obsessive, ultra-organized,
Critical nitpicking!

I like it in my little hole.
Except that I need you
To come when I call you
And comfort me,
Relieve my loneliness,
Laugh at my jokes,
Share a little affection.

But watch it!
Don't say the wrong thing
Or suggest my world
Is anything but perfect.

There may be a candy wrapper
On the floor. You're not allowed
To say it. Even if you trip
Over that anvil while walking
Over to kiss me, not a word!
And if it doesn't smell so good in here
To you with your supersonic nose,
This is my hole, I'll do what I want
With my time and my space!

Observe these few little rules
And we'll get along just fine!