Dozie Wogu

Rookie - 107 Points (7 December / Warri Nigeria)

Sabbath - Poem by Dozie Wogu

I work six days With stress for each day
I work six days Without rest for a day I work to see ends meet
Looking just for one day to come
I work to get meat
As if it is from the honeycomb
I try to rest but to no avail
It seems I work without trivial
I look forward to that day
When I will take a rest to stay
Then it comes
The Sabbath day is near
That day is here
Then I will rest because it has come
I then take a walk
To view God's creation and work
To have a spiritual rest
And to have a physical rest
Thank You Father
For making this day sacred
Even though it seemed farther
It has come because You made it sacred
I can now rest from my work
I can now have a stress free day
I can now talk and walk with God
I can now worship God on this day

Comments about Sabbath by Dozie Wogu

  • Rookie Lady KrimZen (12/28/2009 6:33:00 AM)

    I do not know much about Sabbath Day, but my guess is, after reading this poem, that it is somewhat like a public holiday, but people spend this day, paying their respects to God. (Sorry if that is incorrect)

    But, anyways, onto the critique.

    Not much I can pick at here actually. Flows nicely and sounds quite nice to be honest.

    What you do, is add some type of Stanza Structure. Start a new Stanza when you start talking about another point. (Example: The last 4 lines of the poem, can be one Stanza by itself.)

    The first two lines, can be broken down into a few more lines:

    'I work six days,
    With stress for each day.
    I work six days,
    Without rest for a day.
    (I work to see ends meet.) '

    Overall, great poem. Speaks the hard truth about the Work Life and hardships that many people face in life. The poem can be seen as a universal topic (If people relate the Sabbath Day meaning to a Day that relates more to them.)

    In conclusion, a great piece of writing. Enjoyed this one; regardless of my lack of knowledge on the topic of Sabbath Day. Also learned some things from this poem too. (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Poem Edited: Tuesday, December 22, 2009

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