Sad But True Poem by Alex David

I used to see before that glance
a sudden warmth.
A new awareness which made my breadth catch,
for what seemed treble the amount of seconds
during, when those eyes held me.
I found myself incapable of looking away.
But, echo of my clamour in my heart
was still far from her mind.
I used to see before me
the glimpse of tomorrow.
A world full of love and
a moment in bliss.
Until I met her, I never knew
what loneliness meant.
Unless she is near, the world is empty.
I thought, I had seized the opportunity
before I forgot.
But I never knew memories are
gonna fade with time.
I thought, that I had completely
left my past behind,
but suddenly once again a shawdow
threatened to darken my life.
Being unconcious of the fact, that,
she was doing so.
And how at unexpected moments, I
would rememeber her face.
Now I was concious of the odd sensation
that her heart had turned over
which I had thought to be impossible
and which was beyond my imagination.
Now each day goes in anguish
and I know, tomorrow is, even gonna
be more painful.
Everyday, I knew how untrue
that was, for just to see her again.
Though heaven forbid, how
I had longed for a sight of hers.
I shall be around as usual tomorrow
making a nuisance of myself.
I must not take up more of her time,
though she spoke lightly, she wondered
unhappily, if I had offended her.
Then with a brief nod and a final word
she turned her back and went on
without glancing back,
and now I feel a stabbing pain,
that had no physical cause.
This pain had laid dormant for sometime
which she had forced me to ignore it,
but now it is alive.
And not to be surprised
the kind of heart condition, even
a brilliant doctor cannot cure.
Now life's on a razor's edge
and I can just do one thing,
either to regain a grip on her commonsense
or find the necessarry courage, to pull
up her roots and begin again.
In my conscious I feel a sense of intense weariness
which seemed more mental than physical.
Was it that the courage with which
I had forced, myself to face life
was running out.
I was becoming a coward
and once again the future scared me.
I am still so young, and suddenly,
the road ahead seemed to lead
only to greater lonliness.
She broke my chains of dream abrubtly.
It must be because she needed a break.
How blank the days have been
without her,
and from now on I should be more..........
How hard life could be,
doesn't she think of me?
Crazy to ask myself this question,
when already I knew the answer
to it well.
What kind of man do u think
I am?
what do you imagine my love is worth?
If I could be ready to change
or thought you cared enough
for someone else too.
Now that time is passing away
and there's many miles between us
its somehow being less disturbing
to think of the past.
Suddenly startled by the clearance
of her memory,
I rose quickly pushing back my mind.
Obviously it is natural for me
to feel an interest in her.
I wondered suddenly, if there might
not be some very tangible reason
for her apparent determination
not to admit me in her life.
She had no sign, but there could be
someone more important to her
and this idea brought in me
a curiously strong dissatisfaction.
I hoped that, unknown about whom
she was pondering,
with what she would probably consider
unwarrantable, impertinence was the
right kind for her.
Anyhow at present she had been and
was being of my inestimable value
to a very important cause of mine
and I am grateful
but is this the only reason for
rememberance of her.
To be sharply etched in my mind
I am not in love anymore but
I am thankful to her
for the moment which we have spent together.
I don't believe i'll forget her or
someone can replace her but
gradually I will get used to
the pain of losing her.