Sad, Depression, Nothing Is Not Fixable Poem by Helene Sawyer

Lying down at night,
Nothing is ever the same now
Trying to put the past behind me,
Why can't everything be like it used to be?
Tears come and go,
Leaves falling make everything die
Winter setting in
But nothing can stop my past from haunting
Slowly slipping into the depression I never wanted
Being scared for everyone,
Mainly for myself
So much coming back,
Only loving no one,
Emo actions starting to show
I am not the one I used to be
Just seeing your face scars me

Walking this world all alone and scarred
Seeing everyone with anyone,
Out of desperation, I reach for you
Walking all alone
Nothing is the same
Every fake smile,
Every real tear
Roses turing to black,
Winds agree with me

Wondering the loud hallways,
Everyone looks, but no one listens
Trying to hold everything back,
Just nothing is not the same,
Cold in a world where no one cares,
Bruises start to show from what before
'If I die before I wake'
If I do,
It is all because of you,
Building everything back up,
Tearing it down with every rip

Nothing is not fixable,
My heart tearing,
Tears keep going
Why can't everyone just shut the hell up?
All the lies,
Nothing is not true anymore
Phone calls fade,
Fake smiles finally show,
Real tears finally a glow
Seeing smiles around me

No one understands,
No one can see why I cry
Just seeing you, everything is the same
Why must I live a lie?
Issues arise, problems go unsolved
Ideas are ignored, thoughts are muted
What world have I been in?
Nothing is nothing,
Green grass, blue sky?
It is all the same,
But where am I?
In a dark world,

Not realistic lies,
Finally a time to be alone
In a darken world,
With dark walls all around
Thoughts of mine unmuted, issues all paused
Black roses finally red again
I loved you, you just could never tell