Safe In Death Poem by Bolami lawal

Safe In Death

Rating: 5.0


We fought this far
into our dreams,
our eyes heavy with tears,
our heart burdened with grieves;
we sailed through the darkest nights
that seared many a life.

We found a place
that once lived in our dreams,
but greed had robbed our dreams,
and rage our passion;
as flesh bequeath on us
a thirst we can not quench.

Oh!
save me from the fruitlessness of strife,
and from life and her idleness;
save me from the wretchedness of flesh,
this body that torments my soul;
safe in death; man aligns with peace,
life and strife are one of a kind.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Bri Edwards 16 February 2014

Bolami, i have limited time right now, but i am glad i found this poem. i often offer suggestions and/or corrections to poets, most of whom thank me for doing so, OR............i never hear from them! our heart burdened with grieves; ...........................i believe you want grief, not grieves here. the only definitions i found online for grieve(s) as a NOUN were these: Noun grieve (plural grieves) (obsolete) A governor of a town or province. (chiefly Scotland) A manager or steward, e.g. of a farm. [quotations ?] - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - when you wrote the following: life and strife are one of a kind i believe you 'wanted' to use the idiom ONE AND THE SAME, which here would mean life is strife and maybe strife is life. what do you think? ? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - i especially enjoyed the line: safe in death; man aligns with peace, ...... i hope to do that someday before i am TOO OLD! of course, not believing in God (oops) i may find something other than peace waiting for me after death. yikes! ! ! - - - - - - - - - - - - i also especially enjoyed: as flesh bequeath on us a thirst we can not quench...........but i would put an s at the end of bequeath. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - thanks for sharing. the poem is a bit pessimistic about life, but that's what life is for some people, at least sometimes.: ( bri ;)

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