Margaret Alice Second (24 January 1961 / South Africa)

Rima never watches scary movies while I never read
sad books; trusting Jean Ure to be a good author for
children, I read her book, expecting the abused kids
to escape nasty parents – it did not happen; leaving
me with a gaping hole in my heart

The whole world bathed in a sad grey light, yet it was
necessary to feel this sadness tonight, felt melancholic
and useless all day: my eighteen year old kid getting
angry at me and nearly crashing, not stopping at stop
streets and barging in front of people

Not listening to me, stalling the car on a steep incline,
stalling on the road because changing gears down is
too much effort for the lofty ‘Madame’, I am a failure
as driving instructor, a failure at work, no documents
received for processing, no idiots writing

To the President, they might have made me angry, but
it would have meant being useful- I’m only an oxygen
thief trying to learn about quantum physics instead of
trying to meet demanding requirements, this is most
unsettling, my mind is unhinged, I’m lost

I have nothing to rant and rave about, just the cold
knowledge that I have nothing to dream about after
reading the world is well-ordered and does not need
saving, if I cannot save it, the world must save me
instead, give me a goal to accomplish…