**scared To Death** Poem by Ashley Nichol

I just heard the worse news I think I could hear.
He was in an accident.
A really bad car wreck.
The doctor said he kept saying my name - It was basically all he said.
His mom said other than her and his aunt, grandma, and sister,
I was the only one he remembered.

He sounds so scared.
I have never heard him cry,
Or say that he was scared.
I tell him that he has to put an end to making my heart stop.
Tears soaking his face,
He says hes sorry.
He cant keep his eyes open...
He wants to sleep.
I wont let him.
Im not risking him not waking up again.
He is so mad at me - He so very tired.
He convinces me that even though hes not okay - he strong enough to sleep and wake back up looking for me.
I make him promise that he will never leave me.
He knows I cant stay by myself.

Hear his every heartbeat.
Hear him on this empty night.
Im trying to calm the ache - He is trying to stop my shakes.
He is my escape from this messed up place.
He lets me forget and numbs my pain.

He is better than drugs.
I feel him coming to get me high.
Addicted for life.

I feel him when Im restless.
I feel him when I cannot cope.

He says Im his addiction.
Ill be his prescription - His antidote.

I will kill the poison.
Ease the suffering.
Im going to calm his rage when he is afraid to feel again.

He is the strength of my Life.
Now I am scared to death of losing him...