Scotland - The Good & The Bad Poem by Samantha Wallace

S is for shortbread and smoked salmon treats,
C is for Clans in their Castles with peat,
O is for oatcakes and oatmeal to eat
T is for Thistles and Tartan elite,
L is for Lochs, the lands lakes all agleam
A is for Angus from Auld Aberdeen
N is for Nessie, the monster unseen
D is for a Dram, a whiskey routine!

AND

S is for swearing schoolkids, the selfish scum
C is for the chittering cold, it's heat so costly to run
O is for oodles of old folk and obesity,
T is for thugs and terrible taxes aplenty,
L is for languish living with laughable laws,
A is for ASBO's from alcohol brawls,
N is for nannified nation of neglect
D is for druggies on the dole, with no respect!