Shattering Barriers... Poem by Kaysen Fraker

Such confusion
so lost
stumbling in the dark
unable to see the barriers I set on my own path

So empty
the feeling of being whole
such a distant memory
I’m unsure of its authenticity

I walk alone
trying to find my way
having to work hard to break my own barriers
perhaps to hard

I’m driving myself insane
no one but me is to blame
yet I spend so much time trying to blame others
I refuse to see I’m just making it worse

The only chance of light
is to lower the walls that block its healing rays
the walls built by my own depression
by my own self-loathing

But how
well built walls
often stand for hundreds of years
how can I possibly do it in enough time to save my own mind

Maybe it's not a matter of how
but what
what should I do
what should I use to give me the edge over myself

The answer sounds simple enough
love
use such a powerful emotion to break down the walls of apathy
and realize who I truly am

But the walls were built
for the purpose
of blocking that very emotion
from my weak heart

Strength is foreign to me
just another mask I can put on
to show others I don’t need their pity
‘cause what I need is love