She Poem by Joshua Fegley

She feels so lost and so unclean
Nothing makes it go away
Guilt, shame, hopelessness
They don't understand her

She is not to blame

She did nothing wrong
It wasn't her fault
She never asked for any of it
None of it

An overwhelming fear
Burning inside
Extreme uncertainty
She has nowhere to hide

She wants to be close to someone
To gain back the heart filled innocence
Her childhood dream
Of love and trust

Trying to forget the past
An abstract mind
Memories erode
Nothing is left behind

Fighting and struggling
War in the brain
She fights onwards
Holding her life in disdain

Deep down there's pain
So much pain
Unbearable at times
She cuts at herself

It does nothing
Offering up a minute of control
It goes so fast, so fast
She regresses to the start

To let herself go, if only she could
She feels rotten inside and defiled
Withdrawn one day and lashing out another
She feels so lost and so unclean

She is still beautiful to me...