Ship Shod Poem by Ima Ryma

I gave Ralph instructions to ship.
He's a servant, too old to fire,
And screwed up each cash saving tip
Given by this frugal vampire.
First, I told him to go online,
Do some comparison shopping.
But Ralph, no thought for me or mine,
Hired his cousin, after drinking.
This cousin had a cart and horse.
I needed to ship overseas.
Delivery took years, of course.
Ralph died in the meantime - puhleeze!

Ralph cost me big bucks - the dimwit,
Shipping the coffin - me in it.