Sleep Poem by Tobbie WhiteBird Crowe

Just when I think I have you
Safely put away.
Out of sight, out of mind, out of touch,
Safely locked up
Beyond yours or mine reach.
Just when I think I have that done,
I fall asleep.
Peaceful, quiet, backstabbing sleep.
For into my dreams
You come creeping, crawling, touching.
Springing all my locks,
Opening all the doors I’d so tightly sealed
Behind me.
I think you safely put away,
Than at night I dream of you
And wake with the feeling of your arms
Around me.
And must live with the empty ache that
Reality is.
If I could find a way not to sleep,
Not to dream,
I’d be fine.
But my heart sneaks up on me
When I’m not looking,
And your thoughts and touch
Are never far away.
And damn you, I miss you.
And I don’t want it to be this way.

(October 1987)