Sleepless Night Poem by Jessica Goodell

I lay here again.
Alone!
no sleep in sight.
Maybe I should cry again
Crying seems to bring sleep.
I know it's not healthy
Or even right.
But I don't know what else to do.
As I'm laying here
Writing this poem
The tears start to fall
Even as I'm on the phone.
He doesn't know I'm hurting
I don't think he cares.
He don't see the tears.
He don't hear the sniffles.
He doesn't see the pain.
God I just want to end my life.
But I won't
Cuz I know that's not the answer.
So I'll continue living
And putting myself through hell.
I'll do all of this for him
In spite of myself.
Maybe things will change
Maybe even get better.
But until that day
I'll wear the mask with a fake smile
And continue to carry
The pain deep inside.