Treasure Island

Daniel Brick

Snail Talk for Rosemary

My invitation was lavish.
I planned my words to glide
as smoothly as that single leg moves
across the path of discharged mucus.

I imagined a kind of conversation
of blue moonlight and lacy slime,
moments sliding between noise
and silence, blurring together.

The snail appeared... Oh, the weight
it must carry every where!
Still with no permanent address,
everywhere it rests is a homecoming.

Almost immediately things
broke down. The snail could not
keep up, didn't want to, saw
no sense in either noise

or silence... Littlest one, I must
scale down to your level. It is
a fault of being human to always
want to ascend higher and higher.

I see you now, poised in a path
of your own devising, half-enclosed
within your tightly coiled shell,
your four antennae whipping back

and forth. Can those tiny,
hidden eyes see me whole?
For what am I really? A friendly
giant who bustles and struts

in the open air, bereft of
home, careless of his footsteps?
Or am I just an immense
shadow, blocking you from every sunbeam?

Submitted: Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Edited: Friday, July 25, 2014

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Topic(s): nature

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

I have a dear friend who wrote a collection of poems she titled SNAIL WATCHING. In these poems Rosemary pays attention to snails and other creatures too small to be seen and too insignificant to matter. After reading her poems, I cannot take even a snail for granted. My poem acknowledges this.

Comments about this poem (Snail Talk for Rosemary by Daniel Brick )

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  • S.zaynub Kamoonpuri (8/7/2014 12:20:00 AM)

    Wow what a metaphorical thoughtprovoking poem! Kudos. I admire how u say we could be blockin the sunlight frm the lil snail. Yes we shudnt stamp and crush the lil tings. (Report) Reply

  • Valsa George (8/4/2014 1:35:00 AM)

    This poem contains some immaculate lines of exactitude and analogy! I love the way you planned your words to glide with the ease of a snail moving along its track of secreted mucus(and I must admit they do!)
    I also like the way the snail's littleness is contrasted wih man's assumed greatness and how against the natural tendency of man, the poet is willing to scale down to its level!
    The closing lines are just lovely where the poet wonders if these little creatures of Nature see man as a friendly giant or an immense shadow blocking from them every sunshine! Lovely write that reminds man to be kind and considerate to all lowly forms! (Report) Reply

  • Ed Nigma (7/30/2014 4:15:00 AM)

    A great poem that every human being should read as it to me call for humanity to stop everything they are doing and just pay attention to how beautiful mother nature is and not to take it life or beauty for granted. When I first started to read it I was like this is some sick imagery lol the first 2 stanzas don't really reveal what is happening but you read past them because you want to know more and it's that intrigue that I have come to love. The kind of intrigue that says this may be disgusting but sit here and muse for awhile until you can find the beauty in it because it's there to those that will take the time to look for it. As you get to the third stanza you realize what is going on and there are some hints in stanza 1 and 2 if you think about as you read but I don't at first. I read something 1 time over in one constant motion then after I read through in that way I read it a second time in sections to really think about what I think it means or is saying.

    I really love the line The snail appeared... Oh, the weight it must carry every where! It is sad and a drastic reality if you want to do as you did which was scale yourself down to size and really take on the life of the snail. Which makes this poem to me feel very sincere and heartfelt and you have most definitely acknowledged how not to take this tiny creature for granted. This poem is a tribute to all living things and pays homage to mother nature and the beauty that she brings. Excellent poem Daniel! ! (Report) Reply

  • Sana Hernandez (7/28/2014 1:51:00 PM)

    Finally! A snail poem! I love the way you presented this and made something as small (and adorable) as a snail become beautiful and poetic. While also giving it more of a deeper mind by wondering how it perceives you. This is now one of my favorite poems because it's so well written! (And I love snails.) I give an enthusiastic 'YAY! ' to your poem Mr.Brick. Excellent job!
    -SOH/Snail Lover (Report) Reply

  • Bri Edwards (7/26/2014 8:16:00 PM)

    it must carry every where! ...did you mean 'every where' to be two words?

    i 'love': everywhere it rests is a homecoming. ...............oh! you see that in this line you DID connect everywhere.

    Or am I just an immense
    shadow, blocking you from every sunbeam? ......nice! i 'hate' when people assume they know WHY other animals do what they do. in the same way, it is nice to have you NOT assume you know what the snail does or does not sense.

    perhaps you or one of your readers would enjoy my

    Being A Snail....... [Snails; from the snail's 'mouth'; wisdom; a touch of humour/humor]

    Or, from another branch of the animal kingdom]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

    Salamander...... [Nature; A Salamander (Of Course!) : Confronting Nature; Almost Short]

    thanks for sharing the poem and the poet note. :) bri (Report) Reply

  • Brian Johnston (7/26/2014 11:28:00 AM)

    A delightful poem Daniel! But who is Rosemary and can we see her poems too? Some things just have to be shared you know, like 'Dawn In Nebraska.' To not do so would certainly be a crime against humanity in the Hague. They have the power to execute poets too you know! (Report) Reply

  • Marie Shine (7/26/2014 4:39:00 AM)

    This excellently crafted write is a beautiful tribute to Rosemary's poetic work on the humble and much malinged snail, who feeds on the sumptuous tender leaves of plants. The essence of the snail is finely captured and sets fire to the reader's imagination as they scan each line, until eventually, they feel sorry for both the snail and the towering human being who is trying to interact with it. On some levels the snail and the human being are opposites. One carries his home with him wherever he goes, the other has no home, wandering aimlessly, etc. A very descriptive poem, with good visual detail in an inking which is excellently narrated. Thank you for sharing, Daniel. Blessings always... (Report) Reply

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