So Difficult To Be Back... Poem by jisha viswam

finding so difficult to walk same lane...
where once i loved to play...
so difficult to enter the house....
which was a sweet heaven for me....

as i enter, the heart becomes heavier..
some things scatered here and there..
some things are still intact...
some dust has settled on them...

but the smell of gunpowder...
smell of blood is still fresh on air..

blood stain still on floor..
flashing chilling memories before my eyes.
feeling pain like cut from sharp knife

some blood on photo frames too...
glass is broken, photo & beautiful memories intact..

so heart breaking silence in rooms..
once which was filled with sweet familiar voices...
now i can hear only my heartbeat

as i pass from one room to another...
the memorable days i spent flash before my eyes...
like slideshow...

feeling big lump in my throat...
tears too hard to hold, let the tears flow

hope it will wash the blood stain on floor
hope it erase painful memories in heart...
but it will not, i know...

those who did it, what they got? , what they lost..?
i lost everything, everything forever..

i cant stand more..
leaving the house not empty handed this time
taking the photos with me...
this is only thing which is left for me..
as i leave the house,
the heart gets heavier
more heavier than when i entered..