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Sometimes I Wonder

Sometimes I wonder if your death saved me
Although I try to shut that thought out
You were after all everything I wanted to be
I thought you were what being perfect was all about
You are still so loved by everyone who remembers you
I still can't believe someone like you chose to die
I still have to separate the one who left from you
Years later the most random things can still make me cry

But sometimes I still wonder...

See I've been in that place where I don't want to live
When I feel like I'd be doing everyone a favor if I disappear
I've felt the ache of having nothing left to give
Where imagining the end is the only thing that stops the tears

Then I see your face as clear as day
I remember having the wind knocked out of me that morning
Forgetting how to think, how to pray
How days later my mother looked at me imploring
That I never would leave the earth in this way
And no matter what I will fight on
Because I will never make people I love feel this pain
When it gets dark there's always a dawn

So that's why I wonder if you saved me sometimes...

Submitted: Saturday, October 19, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, October 22, 2013


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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Sorry, it's a depressing poem but whether i like it or not this story is a part of who I am

Comments about this poem (You Should Have Loved Me by Asper Reynolds )

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  • Adeline Foster (2/17/2014 3:59:00 PM)

    Lovely poetic expression with deep feeling. Read mine - Love's Dirge -
    Adeline

    0 person liked.
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  • Rahman Henry (1/17/2014 6:52:00 PM)

    'When it gets dark there's always a dawn'....
    So nice poem, sad but a poetic beauty.

  • Claire Taggart (1/6/2014 5:41:00 PM)

    Loved your poem! very deep and meaningful

  • C. P. Sharma (10/20/2013 1:13:00 AM)

    Beautiful outpouring of the powerful emotions. The parting is painful but that's not the end of it, life goes on to complete the script given to us.

  • A Reynolds (10/19/2013 1:47:00 PM)

    Thanks Mike. I really appreciate the support you've given me as I am learning to open up through poetry about things that I have never been able to talk about.

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