Nena Shawl (6/4/1998 / Akron, Ohio)
Poems are easy to create
When you feel like there is no other escape.
So here I go to try to explain
Why I’m writing this anyway.
There is a time in life
Were everyone has had strife.
They stick together in packs
Until the ones they love turn their backs.
It’s killing me to know this is how much you care
And honestly this is so unfair!
You said, “I love you” and my heart stopped
And you shattered it when we fought.
I let you in and I trusted you,
Now my world is black and blue.
I hate this feeling and want to talk
But as of now, you would rather walk.
I don’t know what you want me to do
And I am hurt because I still love you.
You made me laugh and smile then cry
Right now I just want to die.
I can be stubborn, I’m sure
But this pain you caused is hard to endure.
I know one day that it will cease
But that’s not enough to keep me in one piece.
If this truly is the end,
Then I won’t pretend
That when you leave I won’t cry
That I won’t hope you’ll go and die.
I only ask that you reconsider
Because hate like this will only make us bitter.
I am trying to understand why
You would lead me on then say good-bye.
I write these words while falling apart
So that maybe you will understand my fragile heart.
The thing I wanted most you can’t give me.
The thing I wanted most won’t ever see me.
I wanted my best friend from last year,
The one that I had loved for over a year.
This guy found out of my secret crush,
And then went my world down in one flush.
He never spoke to me after knew
Eighth grade was the worst pain I’d went through.
At least I believed until freshman year
When I was scared and finally shed a tear.
The night you left me behind and alone
Is a scar that I won’t be able to let go.
What I want to say is that I am lost and confused,
Because I was honestly in love and my trust was in you.
I never once opened up to anyone so much.
And now I realize that I shared more than enough.
This poem is so you will understand and know
So that you can believe that I never wanted to let you go,
I am not trying to win you back or regain that love
I am trying to express that heart breaking shove.
The one that made me cry in front of a friend.
The one that I really want to end.
I just have to say a few more things,
So don’t stop reading or throw this away… please
I want to apologize for what I did
Whatever that thing exactly is.
I want you to know
That you are not my foe.
I will always be here when you need me,
And I am not here to be cruel and mean.
You are so bipolar, stubborn and childish
And I will compare you to a dead fish.
But I can be too.
That much is true.
But this pain I feel,
It’s just too real.
I hope that one day you will find what you’re looking for
But I really hope that you will forgive me more.
I am your past.
We didn’t last.
But that’s ok.
Tomorrow will be a beautiful day.
I lost my love and my best friend.
I didn’t think it would be such a soon and terrible end.
When I said I wouldn’t care if you went away,
I didn’t foresee the pain it would cause today.
I hope that you will find someone who’ll share their every secret with,
But just know that from the bottom of my heart, I didn’t want this.
Poet's Notes about The Poem
Comments about this poem (Sorry by Nena Shawl )
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