Submissive Questions. Poem by Two Lips
Submissive Questions.
I really love you love
I swear I do
Why don't you believe me?
Can't you see it's true?
Do you not remember
how you made me wet?
How you kissed my mouth,
how you made me sweat?
Do you not remember
how i wanted to stay?
How I wanted to keep you
and steal you away?
Do you not remember
how I looked over your bullshit
and you being vain?
Do you not remember
how you made the butterflies in
my stomach wrench in pain?
I love you love, I swear I do
come be next to me
and lie me something new.
Highly charged and personal. The fourh stanza is 'clunky'. The rhythm is off and I would substitute 'bs' for something more meaningful and less blatant. Also, rewrite the stanza as a four-verse line to balance with the others. Martin
A very personal and well-crafted poem. Has there been a dominant response? Good writing.9 from me, smiling. HDC
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
Delivering Poems Around The World
Poems are the property of their respective owners. All information has been reproduced here for educational and informational purposes to benefit site visitors, and is provided at no charge...
4/16/2024 1:25:55 PM # 1.0.0.1119
I came across this by chance two lips, I love it's tone and flow, very appropriately expressed in your poem. 10 from Tai