Suicide And Silence Poem by Adrian Cordova

Every morning I wake and I can't stand it.
Cold, hungry, alone, and ashamed.
No matter how much I eat.
No mater how many blankets I use.
No matter how many times I succeed.
And no matter how many people I lay down with I can never change the waking moment.
The most painful expreience of my life.
Suicide is for cowards.
And silence is for the deaf.
That a wise father, not mine, told me once.
But if so, how do you explain me.
Am I an anomaly or just someone who needs to be held?
Do you realize what I'm going to do, when I sleep my mind clears and tells my that's not the answer.
So then what is?
Answer me, dammit or I'll kill you, 'Heavenly Father'