Sunahsepha 6- Mother Poem by Unnikrishnan Sivasankara Menon
Sunahsepha 6- Mother
My matula Vishwamitra was a great sage
Famous for his power of penance, that
Could secure the heavens for Trisanku,
And for his temper, not tempered by his age.
I tried to release myself from the ropes
So I could reach him. The soldiers rushed to me
To stand in guard by my side, dashing all my hopes.
They kicked me on my face; but I felt no pain.
Suddenly it started raining, startling the soldiers,
So heavily as if the skies were ripped apart
Fire doused, plunging us into full darkness.
Fear gripped me; I feared I would die of fear.
Fingers of rain long and slender caressed me
Like my mother's. Now I cried my heart out
Tears flowed like Sindhu, mixed with rainwater.
Even in the extreme cold, I felt her warmth.
I closed my eyes tight and saw mother smiling
She was rocking me in the cradle of her heart
Her fingers feeding me my favorite dishes
And I, cozily ensconced in her warm embrace.
........I forgot my fear and hunger.
I tugged at the ropes again; a li'l did I gain
A lightning flashed and I saw the knot easy
Free from the ropes, I saw a light flicker
Far away. That could be my uncle; I ran!
Were the soldiers after me? Or the footsteps
I heard were that of a jackal or a panther?
Now I knew no fear, my mother was with me
Lead kindly light, my mother's love with me!
Very touching, awesome description of mother's love, divinity within, though I have no idea about the real epic, I like reading your simple verses, thanks for the invitation, keep writing, thanks
Great going E.S. Ji. I believe you have supplemented the abundant imagery of the original with your own. I wish I could read the original Sanskrit verses. There is Valimiki Ramayana available on net but that opens rather clumsily and I am not sure which are the verses you are dealing with. The last stanza of yours is rather gripping. I felt I was myself running in panic. Very effective rendering. (10)
Now I knew no fear, my mother was with me Lead kindly light, my mother's love with me! - enjoyed reading your poem....voted 10
Thank you Marieta for reading the poem and penning down your opinion on it. Your words are of immense value to me. I appreciate your valuable time. Thank you.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/25/2024 3:02:32 PM # 1.0.0.1119
Fingers of rain long and slender - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - now that is a very visual phrase! ! ! ! I am enjoying the story poem here and I think its plot is enhanced by beautiful phrases like this. 10++++ oh... uh...5? ? ? ? ? ? 5 just doesn't have the ring of 10... I am such a rebel I will still select a 10 rating... ;)
hahahahahahahahaha I would give it a thousand but PH has these rules and is so picky about us adhering to them! ! ! !
Hi Susan, Thank you for reading the poem and for the 10 points. But I am not satisfied by your 10++ Can you give a little more?