Jefferson Carter


Sunlight


I remember lying
on Nancy’s bed,
Nancy on one side,
her older sister
on the other, sunlight
warming our bare legs
as I recited my new poem
& I remember thinking
I love women, the way
they smell, how they look
& feel, the nightclub
of my mind quiet for once,
the poem describing
a sentient rock, a hermit
who sealed up the entrance
to his cave, leaving a slit
through which the villagers
pushed his food.

Submitted: Thursday, May 23, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, September 10, 2013

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  • Gold Star - 10,405 Points Mandolyn ... (7/1/2014 8:54:00 PM)

    Wonderful. Did I comment on this already? I thought I had... Great poem. the night club of my mind - love that. I love when a writer can really delve into imagery and come up with something totally unexpected. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,115 Points Bri Edwards (2/12/2014 5:08:00 PM)

    ....the poem describing
    a sentient rock, a hermit
    who sealed up...

    you can call me uneducated, or say i have a small vocabulary; just don't call me late for supper. i had to look up sentient, and i found this:

    sen·tient
    'senCH(e) ?nt/
    adjective
    adjective: sentient

    1.
    able to perceive or feel things.
    she had been instructed from birth in the equality of all sentient life forms
    synonyms: (capable of) feeling, living, live; More
    conscious, aware, responsive, reactive
    any sentient creature should have the good sense to avoid something so dangerous

    WELL, I SUPPOSE if one is going to write about a sentient rock, one is better off doing it in a poem than in prose.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    this sounds like some sort of dream (or daydream) sequence. interesting. i WAS looking forward to more about nancy and her sister and the poet, but a reader can't have EVERYTHING. thanks for sharing. bri :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 673 Points Unwritten Soul (11/1/2013 10:41:00 AM)

    The arrangement and how you let the flow shared the story..i say it simply beautiful and easy..i like it very much.._Soul (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 67 Points Rekha Mandagere (9/16/2013 10:15:00 PM)

    Really wonderful. I could sense the beauty of a western culture, love for life and environment in these sincere lines. Nice work: -) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 72 Points Scotty Dogg (8/19/2013 4:53:00 PM)

    An absolute gem. How you got from lying in the bed with the sisters to a food slot is great. Hysterical! (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 9,544 Points Ramesh Rai (6/19/2013 7:56:00 PM)

    beautiful write sir.
    liked it much as if u have written the words of my soul
    regards (Report) Reply

  • Rookie S. A. S. (5/25/2013 11:43:00 PM)

    I love this little poem, and what I love best is the title. I can feel the sunlight falling on the bare legs- yes, that's easy- but also falling through rock to the hermit in his hiding place, his safe house. Everyone has their place that is quiet for once, and Dear Villagers, thank you for the food. (Report) Reply

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