Surrender To Anger Poem by Andrus Cassian

What has befallen me
An illness or just an obscenity
What has befallen me
what symptoms bear clenched fists and swears on the tongue
what symptoms declare a raised heartbeat
and cheap empty threats
These eyes piercing my skin
why do they seem so afraid
What could did I do so wrong
someone tell me, my memories aren't aiding me
I don't remember anything
Are they all afraid...of me?
What did I do
wait what are the words scribbled amongst my skin
'You're all gonna die...'
'I hate you all'
'Come on, you lot if you think you can kill me, go for it'
'You all deserve to be stomped on'
With a look of shock
the sky parted ways to deliver lightening onto me
Crack! giving me no time to think
My flesh stinging, my flesh singed
I open my eyes to find my hands are bleeding
I...I'm still alive?
But why?
Did I really remark in such a barbaric way
Did I really say...
I'd rather be dead then see these empty faces twist in disgust
What took over me
What convinced me to forsake my bearings
and make my bed of nails unconsciously...
Was it...anger...an emotion...
unfamiliar
that emotion is unfamiliar to me
it had that much power to control me?
Where did it summon up the energy
when did it cover me
Why wonder anymore
I am defeated
I am met by daggers and guns
the barrel of shotgun
pressed against my temple
while an angry voice screeching my ears
I lived by anger and acted as such
so I say
'no words can save me
I acted in anger, I lived in anger
so if you have the will to pull the trigger
I surrender to your anger...'
...I surrender...