The Agenda I'M Refusing Poem by Desiree Whitamore

when i walked in the room
there was a force i've never felt.
the walls began to shake
and my heart began to melt.
its like i see myself
in a whole new point of view
this passion overwhelms
when i look at you.
and this is why i don't
let my guard down at all
i'm always the one hurting
i'm always the one that falls.
its because at this school
there are girls who are prettier, i see.
and because guys are so shallow
they'd rather have that than me.
something i can't quite grasp
is that people are always the same
and, well, if you have the looks.
things will never change.
it doesn't matter about your mind
or the way that you think and talk
only matters if you look good
and the way your butt looks when you walk.
but with you can't things be different?
because i swear i'm falling fast
i had a dream about you last night.
and you fell for me at last.
i know that its uncomfortable
i can see you move around
you feel the tension between us
i just want to stand my ground.
and this is why i won't move forward
why i won't make my feelings clear.
because to lose what we have
this new friendship, this new year.
so i refuse to have this 'crush'
i refuse to be the one.
i refuse to have you have the chance
to think i'm a freak and run.
i'd rather be friends than nothing
just get closer to you.
and to refuse the deep, deep feelings
is something i just might do.