The Bank Tellers And T. S. Umbra Poem by Hubert Wilson

The Bank Tellers And T. S. Umbra



Wondering what T. S. Umbra was up to!
Not knowing exactly how the old man to construe!
The young tellers were perplexed!
What was next?
So often in their bank.
Was he some kind of crank?
Asking about the derivation of their names.
Was he playing mind games?
Curious about where each was from.
Was he just dumb?
Asking about each one's accent.
Was he in mental descent?
Seeming to study each one.
Was he spending too much time in the sun?
With eyes so sleepy.
Was he totally creepy?
All the tellers did agree.
So old that after his birthdate were letters B.C.?
Amber, Danielle, and Emma thought him strange.
Had he made a total reality change?
Jayme, LaTasha, and especially Thelma, thought him too prying.
Was the old man for special benefits trying?
Then, months later while she bookstore browsed,
One of the young teller's interest was suddenly aroused!
With a stunned long look
At a large photo display of the old man with his best selling 'The Bank Tellers and T. S. Umbra' book!

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Max Reif 29 November 2005

It sounds like this is a take-off on TS Eliot. I think it's pretty good. Some of your rhymes in the first 3/4 of the piece remind me of 'Prufrock' or something. I think a few of the rhymes near the end could be improved. 'Creepy', for example, seemed a little too colloquial for the rest of the poem. And 'a total reality change' is a bit of a cliche, I think.

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Hubert Wilson

Hubert Wilson

Albert Pike Hospital
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