The Battle In The Shell Poem by Saurabh Saxena

I pushed all back, all the way back
Nearest and dearest who were, chased them away
Denied their affections, shunned their attention
Over the cliff I have pushed myself
Into a deep chasm of oblivion.

Locked up together with both friends and foes
Inside a shell, with impregnable walls of dispassion
Fortified by stubbornness, so resilient to compassion.
In the darkest recess of my consciousness
I have just announced war on my demons.

But my friends are so weak, bruised and brittle
Assaulted for so long by wordly foes so strong
I need them strong by my side, to take on the demonic throng
Need a break from those unceasing attacks of mighty desires.
For my Will alone won't suffice
To douse this eternally raging hell-fire.

I will let them recuperate for as long as it takes,
Let the balm of silence soothe their pain
Let the herb of solitude heal their wounds
Let the beacon of Hope show them the Way.
For this is my Final stand
The war may be protracted and the alienation prolonged
But Defeat is not an option,
And partial victory not acceptable.

Please plant Your kiss on my eternally parched lips
Make me be the conduit of your ever-guiding Light
Make me a perfect reflection of Your eternal Grace Divine.
And I promise to embrace Your creation as my very own
I promise to shower Your love on each and all,
Especially on those who care for me so deeply,
All those so rudely I have pushed far away, far far away!