The Birthdaydinner Poem by Claire Slater

Last Thursday was my birthday
And my husband cooked our dinner
The table set the wine well chilled
I thought i, m on a winner

He put some smoochy music on
We had a little dance
He whispered some thing in my ea
that ended in romance

So hand in hand we crept upstairs
The kids were all asleep
The kitchen door was open
So i had a little peep

Oh god i wish i had, n, t
Cos it scares me even now
For every pot and pan we owned
He, d used the lot some how

The rubbish bin had overflowed
And piled up on the floor
Potato peelings onion skins
And more and more and more


With gravy flecked all round the sink
On every cupboard door
The walls the windows everywhere
And oil slicks on the floor

The dog had walked through all the lot
And up and down the stairs
And every single place he, d been
Was full of oily hairs

The cooker looked like bonfire night
With smoke stains up the side
And when he said its soon cleaned up
I laughed until i cried

I took a breath and told myself
Don, t spoil it all be quiet
Next time he plans on cooking though
Is when i start my diet