The Case Of The Lost Dvd Remote Control Poem by Paul Reed

It was there one minute
But the next it had gone
And nobody knew who'd lost it
They all put that certain face on

The one that says 'nothing to do with me'
Accompanied by a shrug of the shoulder
Then several months went by
And the nights grew darker and colder

Each time we wanted to use the DVD player
We had to use the manual buttons and wait;
We couldn't view episode 9 of 9
Until we'd watched the other eight;

We dreamed of those long-lost golden days
When, as long as you were within range,
We'd just pick up the remote and point it
To make menu and programme change

Then, one day out of sheer frustration
I embarked on a frenzied search
I moved all the furniture around
And, as part of my research

Lay flat on the ground and peered under
The bottom of our sofa (a three-seater)
And, reaching into the hidden recesses of faux leather
Experienced a feeling that could not have been sweeter

Tucked away in an almost inaccessible spot
Was that little black magical box
Along with a marble, a ten pence piece
And a pair of discarded socks

I gleefully snatched the thing up
And shoved on the first DVD I could find
And, purely for gratuitous purposes
Watched episode 7 of 'The History Of Mankind'

The moral of this tale is clear
If you ever lose your remote for the DVD
The first place that you should be looking
Is under your three-seater settee