The Cheesy Diplomant Poem by Tom Fox

No matter where I go and no matter who I meets
Everybody wants to know, 'How's Jeremiah? ' on the streets
I say, Jeremiah? He's still creepy like a spidah'
He leaps across tall buildings and he bangs Wynona Rydah'
He stood beside me in my wedding, lay beside me in my bedding
He kicked me in the nuts and said, 'Sir, that's all you're getting! '
He's got a tasty quesidilla and you know it's packed with cheese
If he wants some mozzarella, all he's got to do is squeeze
He drinks just like a fish and when he's chuggin' that Corona
He yells, 'For all my homies in the ghetto and my brothas in Pomona'
We've worked together in the past, he's seen my snot-rocket blast
At that audition for the Grinch of which we tried to make the cast
We fight each other hand to hand, 'Two Guys With Mono' is our band
And every Sunday afternoon we get together just as planned
But when all the same old jokes are said and over done
There's never been another man with whom I've had such fun
He knows about my anger and what I think about my part
But every time that's spent with him gives me a change of heart
He makes me laugh and I make him just the opposite of sad
He is the greatest friend to be around and the best best man I ever had