The Cold Regret Of Each Poem by dino evans

(Dedicated to my older brother Larry Evans
who passed away July 14th,2011)

I think of our entire lives, and all the time we've spent
And now the years that were, have come and gone...
It seems I've mortgaged happiness, but sorrow takes the rent
And I'm left here alone, the sad, last lonely one.
The world goes on, without a glance, though my life's rearranged
You see..
The sky is not as blue, as days before...
People go about their lives, but mine's forever changed
I'm locked inside my mind, and loss has closed the door.

I know that I must carry on, that's what you'd want for me
Not to close my heart, without you here...
And if by chance, I drift to sleep, you're all that I would see
The night shows all we knew, to me so clear.
Mornings bring me days of pain, and I do not resist
Allowing heartache, space inside my mind...
Each dawn now brings me new and different ways... to feel like this
I long just to relax, and somehow, to unwind.

Time, they say will heal the wounds, though scars will still remain
Another painful song, of broken dreams...
It takes the understanding, and I know both bring me pain
It isn't slowing down for me as yet, it seems.
The days repeat, and with each one, I search for some small sign
That I, my friend, may hope for days of peace...
But hopeless dominates my hope, and as such, I resign...
And slowly sink into, the cold regret of each.

No "life goes on", no thank you please, it's different now, you see?
My tears and I companions, from now on...
Time has lied to me at length, of healing therapy,
But I've been taught by time, what's waiting, all along.
Once, I used to find you there, tall, above the crowd
Now I'm left with just my emptiness...
I know it does no good, but I say your name out loud,
It keeps insanity at bay, I guess...

Sitting here surrounding me, are photographs I've known
The images call out, from different times...
I stand within the silent fields of sorrow that I've grown,
And the pictures show your youth to me, captured in your eyes.
There within that look you gave, the one that I admired...
Thoughts of then, at times flow back to me
But harder are the days I spend, the ones that fate required...
I only hope that time can ease this pain, and set me free.

It wasn't supposed to be this way.....
I miss you Brother...

dean evans 8-11-11