The Coward In Me! Poem by Kuda Bondamakara

Saw her again yesterday,
The queen of Gaelic, the mermaid of Tayside;
Calmly walking without a care in the world,
Treading along the seaside.
Beautiful than ever before,
Clutching the herm of her skirt,
Blown away by the wind of the tide.
She smiled at me as if to string me along to abide;
I couldn't have in a thousand years,
But blamed it all on pride.
Being the coward that I am
Any consolation would do to hide;
Yet inside, my heart was yearning for something
I don't know how to say: '...come, come my bride'.
But I blame it all on the coward in me!

Maybe I should have taken a few steps
To ask for her name.
Ohh, it hurts me now to think
Of what I could have been, damn!
This trepidation, ohh fear of fears,
Whence thou come
But why torture myself
With the rejection that brings shame.
It will take the slaying of an ox,
The sacrifice of a ram;
To cleanse the coward in me!

First set my eyes on her more than a year ago
I thirst, needing to buy a cold juice of mango;
Perplexed to see behind the counter this beautiful Dago.
But she looked at me with a face that said, 'man, go! '
What would I not have given to win her, my sago;
My Life, my soul, my future, in fact anything i could forgo.
But this is a dreamland full of milk and honey
This is not Fargo.
Ohh how I hate this coward in me!

My heart cried loud night in night out for my love
'If only I could see her again,
This time wouldn't let her slip, my dove.
I would hold her tight,
Wrap her like a hand in glove.
The dried flower bud of a tropical tree
The spice in a clove;
Worth more than any ancient treasure trove'.
Cruelly bringing out the coward in me!

With His hands God created the beautiful things
That everyone sees;
The mountain, the moon, the sunset
The ocean and even the seas.
All the beautiful gifts that we get paying no fees;
He created them all with much ease.
Yet nothing beats her smile, look, hair,
Oh I cud go on without tease.
How much longer do I stay put
With this coward in me?

But this hesitant procrastination
Takes me nowhere;
How long shall a man wander
In this world without a love way?
Need to prate her, gotta' start from somewhere
Yet the frightening inevitability of losing her
Was never too far away.
'But how can i lose something
That i never had anyway'?
This doubt, is the coward in me?

Putting a name on her
Was like opening a box of pandora;
For it required much more than shrewdness
It needed aura.
Could have been much easier
Watching a film full of horror.
But everyday I device ways
To bring her to this fora;
To tell her how much
'I love you, ohh Dora'!