The Drummer's Tale! Poem by Richie Branner

She nags me when I'm home
It goes on whilst I'm out
But yes I have my sticks
And here I begin my bout

- No top on the toothpaste?
- Stop dragging your smelly feet!
- Have you scuffed your shoes?
- Have you put down toilet seat?

My pillows in my kit
It can muffle any sound
With tom-toms, floor and snare
I can make an aching pound

- Why is the towel wet?
- Your pants are on the floor!
- Have you taken out the rubbish?
- Close the bloody door!

Hear hi-hat cymbals crash
I got my foot on bass
I love her all so much
The story's not all the case

- Taken all your meds dear?
- Have you washed that filthy car?
- Have you cut the grass yet?
- TV remote can't be far!

Ringo on his Ludwig
And Baker, Bonham, Moon
Great legends of our time
And I'll surely be there soon

- Are you in the pub again?
- Don't drink so much this time!
- Better be home for dinner!
- And don't commit no crime!

Taps dripping in my mind
But with a one handed roll
Solo, I'm at my best
Pay the devil for my soul

- Still making all that racket?
- Can you keep it down?
- When will you get a job?
- Don't know why I stick around!

You wonder how I cope
The secrets gotta be said
When I'm bashing drum
I'm smashin' her f*kin head!